Friday, February 8, 2013


Leggings: Nastygal. Boots: Doc Martens. Necklace: Forever 21. Sweatshirt: My dad's.

Short post today because I'm having issues getting my stupid shit together on Windows 8. Blecch. I fucking hate W8. I miss the simpler interface of W7. I don't even have basic shit like paint on my new laptop--I dropped my old one cuz I'm a derp--and it blows. There's also no external sound, which I need to get fixed. But it's pink. And it's adorable. And it last like 4 and a half hours. Yes.

We are in the month of Forever Alone, people. It has fallen upon us. Personally, I don't give two fucks about V-day and even if I was in a relationship, I'd hate it. It's a stupid made up holiday. But whatever. I still owe you guys a story about my life, so here's a snippet:

So, at the ERC (enclosed retail compound), they like to throw these things called 'office parties' that involve free liquor and the occasional employee dancing on a table and subsequently getting fired. Womp.

Well, back in January, I attended such office party. Here's what went down.

SAB (Strange and Beautiful AKA me): *le walks into bar and doesn't find friends automatically
GAS (grown and sexy): *le sees SAB and waves.
SAB: *le runs away because I feel awkward and decide to get my drank on
GAS: *le follows SAB and happens upon her five minutes later
SAB: (thinking) OMFG this nigga is following me
GAS: (sits his fine ass down and starts talking to me) Hey. I was waiting on you to show up.
SAB: Pfft. Shyah right.
GAS: No, seriously! I even went grocery shopping to kill some time.
SAB: (thinking) OMG he better be telling the truth holy shit

Time passes. Then  GATHI (guy also tryna hit it) shows up. He looks like Jamie Foxx. He and GAS are bros.


GAS and GATHI chat it up but then GATHI leaves and tells me I look soooo sexy. Cool.

Friends show up. We talk. We dance. I'm tipsy.

Me and GAS dance to Daft Punk and end up grinding at one point. Duh.

Eventually SAB has to go home because she doesn't live in the city and shit. 
SAB: I'm leaving.
GAS: I'll walk you somewhere. (goes outside and decides I'm drunk to require him to hold my hand so I don't fall down)
In front of 7-Eleven, we stop.

GAS: There's your cab.
SAB: I don't wanna get in yet...dude, I really like you...just...come here. (grabs face and begins making out in front of 7-Eleven. Full on.

GAS: Oh are soo fucking sexy. I've got a semi.
Make out session goes on for like 5 minutes. He then finds out I am a virgin--ie a unicorn--and thinks its cool. Huh?
Eventually, I have to leave so we share a final lip rape and then I go home. Maaan, That. was. Awesome.

Stay tuned for more because this is most entertainment I'll get from a guy in a while!

No comments:

Post a Comment