Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Teenage Wasteland

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Tomorrow's outfit is indicative of how much I loathe(d) school. Top from Topshop, ironically.

I seriously have seen Saved! one too many times. In my mind, it's one of the best teen comedies. Not to mention it tackles a subject everyone's really iffy about, religion. Me, I hate the idea of organized religion because it seems to cult-like for me, and even though I was baptized, I don't consider myself a Christian anymore, much to the chagrin of my extremely religious family. But anyway, I digress (like I normally do)

This movie is just one of many that remind me of the hell that everyone experiences known as high school. I think I can accredit this place to forming my cynicism, among other things. Basically, I never felt like I fit in--oh wow, woe is you, you whiny bitch--and I just fucking hated everyone. 

I was educated at Thrornidge High School. Population, too fucking many. Location, the toilet I called my neighborhood. Graduation rate, not enough. Asshole rate, a lot. Okay, you might be thinking, 'shut up, high school sucks for everyone, people just suck in general.' For me, it's different. See, this school was predominately black. You'd shit your pants to see one of seven Hispanic kids or the couple of white kids who were now wiggers because of their environment. Everyday we dodged fights, were subjected to random searches upon entering the building, and at one point, someone apparently tried to burn it down. (Not posting that just because I was interviewed, either, I swear.)

Constantly, I wondered when I'd get out of this hellhole and why I was subjected to this fuckers on a daily basis. All the girls were hostile bitches with bad style and shitty attitudes. Can someone explain why most black girls are so fucking angry all the time? You can't look at any of them without them thinking you're hating or you want to start shit. And don't get me started on these guys, piss poor examples of how not to be in life. So many baggy jeans wearing, disrespectful assholes who feel entitled when they "holler" at you. I was so turned off from black men going to this school. I didn't date anyone. I tried to date a Hispanic kid, but he was a fucktard and called me the N word at one point, so I dropped my interest in him after that. No homecoming dances, no prom, no anything. And I didn't care. I was just lucky to have my handful of friends who weren't ratchet, weren't crazy, and hated the school as much as I did. So in a nutshell, high school was ass for me, but I guess it prepared me for how ass the rest of the world is. I thought going to college would be a welcome change from all these stupid black people. I was basically thrust into a bubble with stupid white people. It never changes. 

So yeah...okay, I ramble a lot. I guess what I really mean is that I've always felt like an outcast. I never fit in anywhere and even now, with my blue hair, I feel like I'm alienating myself even more. People thought I was weird in high school because of how I dressed and the music I listened to. But whatever. High school is temporary. Unfortunately, I'm still feeling residual teen angst though my 22nd birthday is coming up. Is that any symptom of how much it affected me? 

And because I can't ditch any post without some music, here ya go. 

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